Who Are You as a Co-Parent?
Co-parent. What does the word mean to you? What kind of co-parenting relationship do you want to model for your children? What does your role in the co-parenting relationship look like to you, and how can you fulfill that role while maintaining your values and being your best self?
Discovering the answers to these questions can help you define who you want to be in the co-parenting relationship and help you co-parent in a way that is in the best interest of your children. In addition, knowing how you want to show up in your role as a co-parent will help reduce conflict and enable you to set boundaries to protect your space and peace of mind.
So, how can you discover what your Best Self looks like in your co-parenting relationship? The Best Self Exercise, of course. Doing the Best Self Exercise can help you find out who you want to be in your role as a co-parent and create a guide for you as you navigate your way through your co-parenting relationship. Below is the Best Self Exercise. I'm sharing it with you to help you uncover how you can show up as your best self on your co-parenting journey.
Best Self as a Co-Parent Exercise- Get Grounded in Your Best Self as a Co-Parent.
EXERCISE:
Think about a handful of people that have had a significant positive influence on you. Write down each name and identify 2 – 3 attributes that you admire in them.
Think about you among your friends or family. When you are your best self – what attributes do they see in you? Write these down. See the Values list below for examples of attributes.
Think about yourself and being your best self, what attributes are you displaying when you are fully alive and fully engaged?
When you are not being your best self, what kind of behaviors might you notice as red flags!
Justification of myself. Common justifications include:
I am better than that-you
I am less than others
I deserve more than what I am getting
I have to do it all
I must be seen a certain way
Blaming others
Criticizing
Horribilizing or Catastrophizing
Being right – making the other wrong
Being a victim
Exaggerating differences
When you notice these, the red flag should go up to remember those attributes you identified as your “Best Self”.
How do you want to be when you are at your best in your role as a co-parent? First, identify how you want to be when you are at your best as a co-parent. Then, write a brief statement about who you are when you are at your best as a co-parent.
Values Are the Foundation for “Best Self”
Dependable, Humorous, Reliable, Fun-loving, Courageous, Loyal, Adventurous, Educated, Committed, Motivated, Respected, Open-minded Positive, Loving Consistent, Optimistic, Nurturing, Honest, Inspiring, Confident Efficient,Passionate, Compassionate, Innovative,Respectful, Creative
Are you looking for a place to ask your divorce and co-parenting questions? Do you need support or help finding resources? Then, join my private Facebook group Divorce & Co-Parenting: Resources, Tips, Support at https://www.facebook.com/groups/174645781421923.
Resolution Through Communication,
Jessica King, NCPM, CDC®
Best Self Exercise ©Divorce Coaching Inc. All Rights Reserved, 2011-2021
